Title: Seeing Through Your Soul untitled sequel
Fandom/Genre: NCIS/Stargate: SG-1, slash
Relationship(s): Jack O’Neill/Tony DiNozzo
Content Rating: R verging at times on NC-17 depending on your definition
Warnings: rape, non-con, sexual violence, violent child abuse, child neglect, child emotional abuse, violence, canon deaths, dubious consent, unintentional voyeurism, torture, suicidal thoughts, planning suicide, sexual abuse of children and teens mentioned, hazing, blanket parties, gay bashing, homophobia
Summary: In a world where soul mates who have not met see what is happening through the mate’s eyes once a year for ten minutes, Jack O’Neill has a problem. His mate is seeing highly classified missions and materials and he can’t find him. Now they finally meet, and then…
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate: SG1 or NCIS or any of their characters, I am just playing in their playgrounds. I do own the soul mate concept I developed here and the story I wrote but I make no money from this story.
Author’s Note: As far as NCIS canon goes, I am ignoring most everything that happened after the beginning of Season 6 (with the exception of Tony’s back story from “Baltimore” regarding his first meeting with Gibbs and his partner Danny and fiancee Wendy) and some of Season 6 itself is changed. I am especially ignoring everything about Dinozzo Sr that came out after Robert Wagner was cast in the role (a huge mistake IMO to cast such a loved actor and change the role to fit him). I am basing Tony’s childhood off of what was revealed over the first several seasons in his dialogue about certain incidents and extrapolating from them. While this is AU, it also heavily follows canon in both series and I will not re-tell it, so a familiarity with both series will help make sense of events. The time-lines mesh pretty well until about 1996 then just kind of ignore the question: What year is this? The series are happening simultaneously and the age gap between Jack and Tony exists by their original birth dates from canon, before any ret-conning occurred. Banner Art by Fanarts_series. Most of the above warnings are for the first story but things are referenced in the sequel (especially the rape, torture, homophobia, depression/suicidal thoughts, and the physical, emotional, & sexual child abuse).
Tony DiNozzo stood just outside the elevator on the mezzanine of the NCIS headquarters in Washington, DC. He couldn’t believe the situation he had just walked into. He had been sent away several months before by the new Director of NCIS, Leon Vance, to serve as agent afloat aboard an aircraft carrier. He had been alone and lonely, no friends on board, no real contact with those he had thought were his friends back on shore, the man he had once considered his surrogate father had seemingly abandoned him to his new posting, his soul mate had no interest in finding him.
Tony spent time every day contemplating suicide, just falling off of the back of the carrier and letting the sea have his corpse. But now, that utter depression was simply gone. Director Vance had recalled Tony to DC and when he arrived he had met the eyes of the man he had waited his whole life to find, his soul’s mate.
The man was tall, with heavily greying hair and deep brown eyes. He was a colonel in the Air Force based upon his uniform. Tony had already known that he was military and Air Force but not his rank. And not what he looked like.
Now, the nascent bond had snapped into place as their eyes had met and Tony’s emotional pain was buried under a flood of happiness and love. He knew that it was artificial, a chemical reaction to the new bond, but he basked in the wonderful feelings anyway. He had spent so long in a worsening depression, for years before his recent posting, that he needed to feel the positive emotions in life. And he needed the artificial help of the bonding hormones, pheromones, and endorphins to locate those feelings within himself.
Tony was still angry with this man in front of him. It had been decades since he had entered puberty, decades since he had left high school and become an adult. Yet this man had never come to find him. He had lived his life, served his country, married, had a family, fucked his wife regularly, been a POW, possibly retired, re-enlisted, traveled to other planets, and at some point was no longer married. And he had never come for Tony, not until today.
But Tony refused to allow his anger to overcome the bonding high. He knew that he needed to feel the high after being so very low for so very long. If he fought against it, ended it too soon, he was likely to plunge back into his depression and the fight back to a normal level would be almost impossible.
The other man stepped forward and Tony’s mouth opened to speak but nothing emerged. It felt like he had been standing on the mezzanine for hours, days, but he knew it was only a minute or so.
“Tony DiNozzo?” asked the colonel.
Tony nodded, closed his mouth, took a deep breath, and replied with a calm, even tone, “That’s me. May I have your name, colonel?”
The other man huffed. “Sorry. Colonel Jack O’Neill, two L’s.” He held up three fingers. “Technically, the birth certificate says Jonathan Jay O’Neill but it’s been Jack as long as I can remember, which is usually pretty far back but some days, not so much.”
Tony smiled, “Birth certificate says Anthony Devon DiNozzo, but I prefer Tony. Very much. Very, very much. Don’t call me Anthony. Unless you can transform into an elderly, British medical examiner. You’re not a mutant, right? No Mystique like powers? I mean, that wouldn’t be horrible. You could totally rock the blue skin. Maybe not the red hair, but it’s possible.”
Jack’s eyebrows rose. “No. Sorry. Not a mutant. Would be helpful to be a shapeshifter, even better to be a mind reader like Professor X, but no such luck on that front, either.”
Jack gestured to the room down the hall. “Can we go into the conference room? We, uh, we need to talk.”
Tony nodded and followed his soul’s mate to the conference room near MTAC. He found himself the focus of three other people as he entered. He only hesitated a moment before sliding into a seat across the table from the man he recognized from a vision several years before. Jack had stopped him from jumping off of a building and killing himself. Tony had envied the man, then and now, wanting someone to pull him back from his own personal abyss.
Jack sat at the head of the table, Tony to his left, the once suicidal man to his right. Next to him was a blond woman in a major’s uniform, also Air Force, and beyond her was a black man, stone faced and wearing a fedora. Tony had seen them both in visions before and understood why he wore the hat but it was still an amusing sight.
Jack cleared his throat. “Tony, this is my team. Major Doctor Samantha Carter, Doctor Daniel Jackson, and um, Teal’c … Murray. Guys, this is Tony DiNozzo. Don’t call him Anthony. Ever. Trust me. Never.”
Tony nodded his greetings to the ones he received from his mate’s team. “I don’t mean to be difficult but why are you all here?”
Teal’c spoke up, “We are to provide O’Neill with support for his morals.”
Tony grinned at Jack. “Worried you’d hijack a building? Moral support. You’re here for moral support. Okay. Big, bad, special forces Air Force colonel needs three people to provide moral support against a single NCIS special agent.”
“See, that there. That’s it. you knew I was special forces. And an Air Force colonel.”
Tony shook his head. “Jack, you’re in uniform.”
Tony sighed, “Granted, I knew you were special forces when I was around fourteen, or well, I assumed. And I knew you were Air Force since about seventeen or eighteen. But colonel was new info for me today.”
Major Carter spoke up, “How did you know he was special forces so young?”
Tony stared at her with a deadpan look on his face. “When I saw him kill a man by breaking his neck and slitting his throat, I made an intuitive leap. Other events simply served to confirm that belief.”
“Things I saw him do, things that happened to him, that I saw happen to him. It was a logical assumption. And I wasn’t wrong.”
Jack cleared his throat. “Okay. Um, I’m sorry you had to see me do that when you were so young.”
Tony shrugged. “It happened. Isn’t the worst thing I’ve seen.”
Jack’s eyes widened but he didn’t speak up. Dr Jackson took the initiative instead. “Most branches of the American military have special forces sections, like Navy SEALS. How did you determine Jack was Air Force?”
Tony sighed. “The only base near Albuquerque, New Mexico is an Air Force base. He was stationed there and living in off base housing with his wife and son when I was still in high school.”
Dr Jackson was shocked, “How -”
“I was, I think, a senior in high school, maybe a junior, but not of age yet, and my vision that year showed him getting home from the base and entering apartment E or F with the mail in his hand. I couldn’t see the full address or his name due to how it was held but I made out enough. I was going to find him on spring break but, well, I didn’t want to break up his family. He seemed really happy. He rocked his baby, still a newborn. I wasn’t going to fuck up that kid’s life for him. Besides, I figured him not looking for me was a good thing then. I was still a kid myself. It proved that my mate wasn’t a pedophile.”
Jack exhaled sharply. “God. I could have been with you for decades? You saw my address?”
Tony nodded. “But, you were the one with the good life. I didn’t want to disrupt it. Figured I’d wait for you to find me. By the time I graduated and thought again, you had moved to somewhere with mountains that wasn’t New Mexico. I know now it was Colorado. Found that out a few years later. Saw you reading a newspaper about a fair and saw the fairgrounds name and the paper’s name when you closed it. But you were happy and settled. Almost went to find you a few years back, until I did some research. I thought you might need my assistance to stabilize your brain, thought my vision was a hallucination you were having.”
Major Carter spoke up. “Visions don’t work that way. The person in the vision trance only sees what is physically -”
Tony interrupted what seemed like it would be a lengthy lecture. “I know. I researched it. That’s why I didn’t go looking. It wasn’t a mental condition. It was reality. Spun some major theories about that one. Most logical was the true one but I really was kinda rooting for time travel, ya know? You rescuing people from the eruption of Pompeii, that would have been really awesome. Instead, it was much more mundane. There were other times I thought about coming to find you, Jack. The year after the vision of you in what I assume was Iraq, if you weren’t dead or still in captivity, I was going to come if it seemed like you needed help or support. But you were doing the supporting just fine.”
“Jack was ‘doing the supporting’?” queried Daniel.
Tony grinned slyly. “Uh huh, hands on her waist, she was having quite the good time.”
Jack blushed. “I never even thought that you might see, I mean, you saw me having sex with Sara?”
“Several times. That was the first, though. The first time I saw you with your wife, that is.” Tony’s eyes met Jack’s and the smile dropped from the Italian’s face. “I saw you before that, though. Made me worry about your reaction to me.”
Jack’s eyes dropped. Tony knew he understood the veiled reference though he could tell that the rest of the team thought what he had wanted them to think, that he had seen Jack with other women. Not that he had seen Jack being brutally gang raped while a prisoner of war.
“Okay, well that’s – okay. But back up a minute. You, uh, said something about time travel? Or theories when the truth is mundane?”
Tony allowed the change of subject. “Not sure when the first vision I had of you, um, we’ll call it off planet, was. I thought it was on the volcano world. That was the first time I saw the puddle ring. But I suppose the sandstorm the year before could have been off planet, rather than the Middle East. The volcano world made me wonder about the different theories, once I discovered I was seeing reality. But the next vision solidified which was true. You made friends with the Roswell Greys. Their architecture was mind boggling. And why don’t they wear clothes? I’ve wondered since I saw that.”
Jack closed his eyes. “Yeah, okay, Tony you need to sign some non-disclosure forms. I’ve been worried for years about what you were seeing. I guess – “
Tony huffed a bitter laugh. “That’s why you tried to find me, isn’t it? Not because you wanted to bond with your soul’s mate but because I was potentially seeing highly classified missions. I’ve been seeing them for years. And I’ve never told anyone. I know waht classified means and I realized a long time ago that your classified shit was more classified than anything else in the world.”
Jack reached out and took Tony’s hand in his. “I’ve always looked but I never had any useful visions. Not really, not until this year. I’ve always wanted to find you. But I would see you watching TV or running on a track or at the movies. You were on a date with some girl who wore strangely large pendants, or you were delivering chinese food, driving in your car, or you were unconscious in someone’s backyard, or eating a pizza in a dark car, or on a night solo parachute jump. And what was up with that? It almost set me on the completely wrong track. I figured you must be military or possibly CIA. No one jumps solo at night for fun.”
Tony’s eyes were wide. “Okay, I’ll start there. Wow. We had a case with a team that was going to be jumping from a plane and we caught the killer while on the plane and I got knocked out during a scuffle. The others aborted so we could take the killer in. Eating pizza in a car? Um…”
Jack nodded and pulled a notebook from his pocket. He flipped it open to a certain page and looked over what was written. “Yeah, it was raining hard and there was an older man in the driver’s seat. It was pepperoni and some other meat and very cheesy. He pushed you out of the car, not like violently but shoved.”
“Okay, yeah, the older man was my boss, Gibbs, and that was during a sort of stakeout. Sort of.”
Jack flipped a few pages. “And I guess you were bringing the Chinese food here. You were driving your car, you were never a delivery boy, right?”
“Never. I was in my car for the whole vision? Did I hit a lot of red lights?”
Jack shook his head, “No. Lots of green lights, one red.”
Tony frowned, “And you didn’t see the Navy Yard?”
Tony wrinkled his brow in thought as the others waited to hear the story behind this vision. Tony’s eyes widened, “Was it the year after the parachute jump?”
Jack nodded. “Yep. How’d you know? You don’t have Chinese often?”
Tony laughed. “No. But I always get it delivered to my apartment. And the Chinese place we order from for the office if right outside the gates of the Navy Yard, about two blocks away. I was actually on the way to deliver that food to the Pentagon. I was sort of undercover. Not to the soldiers who let me enter but – it’s complicated and classified. I can tell you that my cover was posing as a delivery boy and using my own lunch to do it.”